September 5th - Practice

When have I last lifted a sword for practice instead of battle? While the wizards held a final meeting to make sure their tactics were in order (they are not, but what is that to me?), Sorak persuaded me to put down my journal and take a few cuts in the yard. We grabbed blunted longswords, wooden shields, and donned leather armour. Some Bobs gathered round to watch the spectacle of two Elves in a friendly duel. I suppose he had good reason for it, since he fights so often in complete darkness, but the crowd thought it a tremendous stunt when Sorak also donned a blindfold. “Come on Fjord, don't you want to learn a new skill? You fight beside me, and you're going to need it.”

“When do I ever fight beside you, anyhow? You're usually flying through the air or prancing around with the wizards.” I took an easy swing at his body and he spun away, slashing at me from the side, but I lifted my shield in the nick of time.

“Oh ho! So that's your problem, is it? Feeling left out?” He lunged at me, attempting to spear my ribs, but I slapped his sword aside and dodged behind him. For a moment's whisper, he didn't know where I was and I kicked him in the back. He staggered forward a few steps but I didn't get a chance for another shove. Again he spun away and this time came at me full tilt. I raised my shield to block the swing I thought was coming, but instead he slammed his shoulder into me and knocked me to the ground.

“Bloody Swede! Don't you forget who's stronger here! We're supposed to be working on swordsmanship” I rolled away and came to my feet in time to greet his rain of blows. He knocked the sword out of my hand and mercilessly pounded on my armour and shield until I again fell down and suddenly his sword was at my throat.

“I guess I win the first round.” Some of the Bob's hooted and cheered. Still blindfolded, he kicked my sword in the air with his boot, sheathed his own and caught mine, all in one fluid motion. I gathered myself up and he handed me my sword hilt first. Feeling slightly humiliated, I backed off to collect myself. Sorak took off his blindfold and looked at me earnestly.

“Honestly though, I know how it must seem. You look at me as some pawn of these magic makers, following their orders as blindly as I often fight. I know you judge me.”

“It isn't the magic that bothers me, my cousin, nor do I judge you any more harshly than I judge myself. It is simply that these young mortals are rash in their decisions. For a group that has been through so much death and bloodshed in so short a time, there seems to be no perspective, no reflection on our purpose here. A wizard, a druid, a bard and a Half-orc are right now locked in a room, as you said, moving us around on a map as if we were pawns. Yet, their ages put together don't add to even one of us.”

“It is their war, Fjord.”

“Then why are we here?”

“Well, I am here to bring misery and death to the Norse. I thought we at least agreed on that.”

“We did, Sorak, we did. Gods know, I have even more reason to hate the Norse than you do, but I grow weary of our methods.”

“Well, you did die a few days ago. That can't be a pleasant experience for an Elf. Perhaps you need a break.”

“Perhaps I do.”

“But remember this, my Scandinavian kin, I am no pawn. Every order I have ever received was interpreted as a suggestion. I am my own Elf.”

We fought the next round without the blindfold or the tension. He was stronger; I was quicker. His experience was barely matched by my fencing skills. The Bobs were treated to a fine dance as we slashed and parried and whirled, and although I managed to poke him a few times with subtle feints and counters, he slowly wore me down. In battle, it wouldn't have taken him long at all. Not to mention that his sword would have us dueling in a sphere of darkness.

Perhaps I should learn blind-fighting.

September 5th - Dragon Slaying

My heart just wasn't in it. It was everything I look for in a mission: a worthy foe, excellent coordination, a specific and daring objective, and gods yes, an exit strategy that we all agreed upon. Even Kheops the Paladin, he whom we often had to drag out of the temple (unconscious or otherwise), was satisfied with just the dragon. And what a dragon it was! An elder white with breath as cold as the Scandinavian dawn and a tail that could snap a troll in two. It was almost beautiful. The tracers of light from Euranna's swings inscribed a composition of bravado and glory in the crisp midnight, punctuated with roars of agony from the great lizard as the blade bit into the neck.

I even bring home a souvenir – enough hide to fashion a new suit of beautiful white scale to match the well-worn black. Sorak grinned at me like a madman as he carved out his own piece. “It's better quality than the black, you know. If those fucking Norse think they can't lay a finger on me now, just wait until they meet me wearing this!” Good ol' Sorak, priorities always in the right place.

Speaking of madmen, Helmut swaggered up to me as we prepared to leave, laughing at some private jest with his sword (which, he claims, talks to him in a voice that only he can hear) “Hey Fjord, wanna lick my sword clean? HAR!” But as I stated, my heart wasn't in it. The usual snide comebacks weren't forthcoming, and I didn't feel like playing along by actually having a taste of the blood. Instead, I ignored him, and he was soon distracted by an opportunity to make offensive gestures toward Kella. “Maybe she'd like to lick my sword, eh? Or she might if her face wasn't buried between Cedrica's legs all the time. HAR!”


The thrill of victory eluded me. I had hoped that rushing back into battle would be therapeutic after my death at the hands of that vile lich. The humiliation of dying with nary a scratch on me was a chilling reminder that each moment was heavy with mortality. Why would the gods give any individual the power to kill without contact? A wave of a hand, a few dark mutterings and Fjord falls lifeless to the earth. What prevents this from happening again? They tell me they got him in the end, that the battle was a great victory. It consoles me not at all. And slaying this dragon wasn't slaying my inner demons.

It won't be long before the real battle begins. Time to put these thoughts aside. Soon I can rest, but for now, the daily bloodbath continues.

Memories of the Temple

I remember the trolls bleeding bile and burning,
I remember the smoke rolling through the deep,
choking out the darkness, challenging vitality.

I remember the window into heaven,
the nonchalance of those semi-deities,
the break from the norm of slaughter and downward traversing.

The final curtain, the human gods and their fantastical struggle,
the wonder in Kheops' eyes. In my century of life, can I say I have seen stranger?

I remember it all, except ...
Why did I come in the first place?