S.S. Elfbane

"The ship is yours, Captain!" shouted Vortigern, and lead the crew in a rousing three cheers.
By this time, Helmut had returned from below deck and interjected heatedly, "Whoa there, Fjord, what's this talk about it being your ship?!? I don't see your name on it!" His remark was met with barely stifled snickering amongst the group as Kheops cleared his throat and directed Helmut to peer over the side. There, gleaming in the reflected sea light, was the same rune Helmut had watched me magically etch upon the Wizard's Tower door.

To everyone's relief, Helmut roared with laughter. "Did you make up the design yourself, Fjordy? It's the ugliest thing I've ever seen!"
I was slightly indignant. "I spent a lot of time on that, jerk! It's geometrical proportions are meticulous to the extreme!"
"Your ass's georectical distortions are ridiculous to the extreme!" Helmut mocked, and the crew laughed along with him. Helmut then lead the crew in a rousing rendition of "Fjord the Faerie", a crude and slightly offensive ditty that among other things, questions my maternal grandmother's femininity. No one has laid claim to authorship, but I have always suspected Cedrica - the tune is far too melodious. I stomped away in a huff.

"Are you sure these dude are your friends?" asked Sven, the only survivor of the crew we had just wiped out, and whom I had charmed and protected in order to make use of him later. He had followed me to the bow, where I stood gazing across the waters.
"Oh, they're not so bad, but I can only take their banter in measured doses. Speaking of which, stay away from the half-orc - his temper is as black as his humour."
"Which half-orc?" Right. I had forgotten about Hordak, who sat cleaning the blood off that big ugly bastard sword of his. He cared not that the rest of him was covered in blood as well. He looked like some demon spawn of the underworld, sent here to sacrifice the living on the altar that was his own body. The joy in his eyes did nothing to assuage the appearance.
"Both of them. Now, how about we get that sail up?"
"Aye, Aye, Captain!"