Fjord the Faerie

How ridiculous is Scrape? We have been here four days and: Helmut is mayor; Hordak is the Garbage Pit Fighting Champion (self-styled "Scrape Fighting Association heavyweight champion of the world"); Vortigern has been smoking opium without pause and I (or at least my alter-ego "Ixie") have gone on a killing spree.

***Note*** I have confirmed that another five Danes perished horribly in the fire at the Shrieking Phantom.

Becoming mayor was rather straightforward. Helmut goaded then-mayor Yorin into a fight in the Pit, and with a little clandestine help from his friends, handily defeated Yorin and was carried back to the Mayor's palace as a hero.

I should also mention that Kheops has been named the sheriff of town, Sorak has found himself a mate (an attractive elf named Telco from his own homeland, no less) and Jorja, if the rumours are true, is currently participating in a orgy deep underground in the dark palace harem of a mad Dwarven prince.

Tonight, my plan is to make my first appearance as myself (sort of). I am wearing the fine cloak I purchased at the auction in Bordeaux and intend to bandy about town as FJORD THE FAERIE, the infamous Elf warrior and gladiator! Tomorrow night I will do battle with Vortigern in an old fashioned knife fight, and so I intend to raise publicity (a curious word I learned from Marcus, who once told me no event is successful without publicity) by openly questioning my opponent's manhood. After all, the fight was supposed to be tonight, but Vortigern cancelled at the last minute, claiming he had to study and meditate. I will tell all who will listen that he is afraid of me and my 18/01 strength and he will suffer the consequences, TOMORROW NIGHT!!!

But Ixie will return when the time is ripe. After all, a day in Scrape is like a century to an Elf.